Love Again
by lrhaboggle
Summary: At last, Lotso fell off the garbage truck, but with this new freedom came the loneliness he knew too well. Could someone as old and evil as he learn to love again even if the chance presented itself in the form of a new little girl in need of some love and cuddles?


After nearly a year rotting away on that awful garbage truck, Lotso was finally set free. One of the straps holding him down came loose and off he fell. He hit the pavement hard and the garbage truck continued to drive on, not knowing that it had lost a passenger. As it sank in that he was free, Lotso began to cry. This was a day he had wanted to come for so long and he had even envied all the other toys when they all fell away in their turn, but to actually be free was scary. He was entirely alone now with nobody to help him and he didn't even know where exactly he was. It was a bitter irony, but Lotso had grown dependent upon that garbage truck and with it gone, it felt like being abandoned all over again and that was Lotso's greatest fear, though he fought so hard to not let it show. Tonight, however, he didn't care. He lay on the roadside, crying his furry heart out. He was just so sick and tired of it all.

But life was not finished with that stuffed bear yet. Instead, after slipping away into unconsciousness, someone happened to come by and pick Lotso up. Perhaps taking a random old toy lying on the roadside seemed like a bad idea, but this woman was so very poor that finding a stuffed bear at all was a great blessing. She slid the purple bear under her arm and continued on her walk home. The moment she reached the little shack she called a house, she set to cleaning the bear up. She washed him, replaced all his stuffing, and then finally stitched him back together. The reason she was going to such great pains for this bear was simple. This woman had a child. A little girl. And that little girl was going to be turning five very soon. This stuffed bear would make a lovely present for her. So the moment the lady was done fixing Lotso up, into a cupboard he went.

All during that time, Lotso had since woken up. Surprised to find himself being carried away by a human, it took all of his instinct not to scream or try and hit the woman, not that his flimsy arms would've hurt. But he wasn't used to human contact and as lonely as he was, every fiber of his being protested against being handled. Of course, though, he could not reveal his sentience to the human world so he didn't move at all as this strange, smelly lady took him back to her strange, smelly house. Lotso had to admit, though, that being all patched up and cleaned up felt so very nice and refreshing. There was something relieving and rejuvenating about being cared for in such a manner. It was like this lady was silently telling Lotso that she still saw value in him. Why else would she make all the effort to clean him up? And it just felt nice to be cleaned in general. A year on the front of a garbage truck would do things to anyone, especially if it was a fluffy purple teddy bear.

But once the cleaning was over, Lotso felt himself being wrapped up in a box and then slid into a cupboard.

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no!" he growled to himself. He knew where this was going. This lady must've had a child and he was about to be that child's gift. "Absolutely not!" he growled. "I will not be sentenced to slave my soul away for some snot-nosed brat who'll forget about me as soon as they can turn on a TV!" he began to shake the box in attempt to get out. Since this lady was so poor, the box wasn't very sturdy. But of course, again, Lotso was stuck inside a cabinet, so even when he managed to escape the box, he was still very stuck. He cursed to himself, kicking the wood door with his soft, re-stuffed foot.

"Why me?!" he growled to himself. "Why always me!? Is there some fate that hates me so much it would have me suffer the pains of abandonment over and over again?" but nobody answered him. Nobody ever did.

Seven days later, Lotso had since climbed back into his box because he had nothing else. Now, at last, he was being taken back out. Into the arms of a cute little five girl was where he went, the flimsy old box totally destroyed by her in her haste to reach the bear inside. Although Lotso was in toy mode, he was studying every inch of his new owner hard. She was ugly, he decided. Stupid too, probably. Her eyes were too big, her nose was too small, her face was filthy, her hands felt grimy against his fury, the sleeves on her shirt were torn. Had this child never heard of a bath? She was disgusting! And Lotso wanted out of her arms. But no, she began to snuggle him right away and it took a lot of his self-control to keep that vacant smile on his face. _I hate my life…_

Lotso spent the next month trying to escape the girl, hiding in rooms she never entered or sometimes even making it all the way outside before having to stop and be recaptured. Perhaps this behavior sounded cruel, but Lotso was beyond caring. He had no love for humanity and he certainly didn't want to stick around with this ugly little brat. It became his sole mission to escape her long enough to run away, or to at least get into a situation where running away was possible. Until then, though, he had to endure tea parties, dress-ups and readings even though they didn't even have any tea sets (real or toy version) and the dress-ups used old cloth as clothes and the readings were just from really old and tattered children's books. Lotso had seen fresher objects over in the Caterpillar Room of Sunnyside Daycare!

"And that was the story of Peter Rabbit!" the little girl concluded, managing to keep all the pages in the book this time. She shut the story happily and hugged Lotso. "Wasn't that such a lovely story?" she asked.

 _NO_ Lotso thought in reply, but of course he couldn't say anything.

On and on such treatment continued until one night, a particularly violent storm struck the home.

"Mama, I'm scared!" the little girl was crying. The thunder and lightning were strong. It was past her bedtime but there was no way she was going to be able to sleep with a storm this loud going on right over their heads.

"Don't worry, baby," the mother tried to sooth her child. "It will be ok, I promise." _CRASH!_

"Nooo!" the little girl wailed, curling into her other's chest. Her mother sighed unhappily. She hated seeing her little girl so afraid.

"Where's your teddy?" she asked, holding her daughter tight as they sat on their pathetic excuse of a couch.

"My room," the girl sniffled through her mother's worn shirt.

"Do you want me to go get him?" the mother asked.

"Ok…" the little girl nodded. The mother smiled down at her before adjusting her better in her arms. Then together, the pair climbed the stairs to the tiny second floor and went in to find Lotso.

"Are you two all cozy now?" the mother asked, setting her daughter and the stuffed bear on the sofa.

"Yes, Mama," the little girl was hugging Lotso impossibly tight.

"That's good. I am glad Lotso protects you so well," the mother smiled at the stuffed bear.

"Me too," the little girl agreed. She pulled Lotso away to look into his eyes for a moment. She smiled down at him. "He's so nice and warm and cuddly!" she said.

"I bet he is," the mother agreed, then she watched as her daughter began to squeeze the purple bear again, listing off all the wonderful things she and Lotso did, like exploring and flying and reading and fighting dragons and playing dress-up. Little did either of them know that Lotso was listening the whole time. Against his will, his anger faded away. He still hated this kid but after hearing about all the things she loved about him, his resolve slowly, slowly faded away.

"No, no, no, no, no!" he whispered in audibly. "This can't be happening! I can't fall in love with another one!" but he did. Without even meaning to, after that night in the storm, Lotso felt an unwarranted desire to protect his new owner. He might've only been a comfort object but, for the first time in a long time, he felt a deep compulsion to make this little girl happy and to keep her safe. Even after the storm finally passed and the little girl was ready to go to bed, Lotso felt wide awake.

"Goodnight, Teddy…" he heard the little girl whisper to him after the mother had already gone to her room.

 _Goodnight, little one._ Lotso thought back, and then, that painted smile on his face became a little realer. He was starting to love again.

 **AN: I'm not trying to excuse Lotso's evil deeds, but you have to feel sorry for the guy. This is just a fic wherein he does find redemption and learns to love again. I just think he's too cute and too interesting to go out as a 100% monster even if that's what he is.**


End file.
